My First Parojan: Travels in India with CP

What’s popping guysss?  Today I will cover the second sector of my holiday: India.  In my preceding post, I shared my time in London, including a close encounter with the Queen, several challenges I endured, and wondrous attractions.  You should go check that out!  And next time I will talk about Thailand.

Following London was a visit to India: my mother country.  The primary purpose of travelling there was to complete a celebration/function that was necessary prior to my brother getting married (he’s only 16 haha in case you believed he was older.  I doubt that event is coming soon but god knows what is on his mind).

Immediately proceeding landing and completion of the extraneously lengthy requirements, we were greeted by a warm welcome from family whom I touched their feet as a sign of respect as well as received their blessings, and then they engulfed me in a passionate hug.  After elaborate salutations, we rode to their house.  It was extremely rejuvenating being showered in love.  It was so wholesome; they hardly knew me, yet treated me with such tenderness and benevolence.  Nearly everyday for dinner we would go to various family members’ houses.  A similar pattern would ensue, fomenting me to get attached.  I was able to bond and create memories.

Furthermore the entire atmosphere and lifestyle is significantly different, and I quickly became accustomed to it, yearning for time to freeze so I could savour it for just a little longer.  The domestic help is awe striking.  Whilst we were staying at a hotel, my aunt stopped by and requested that the oranges she brought from outside be cut into slices for her baby…and they actually completed the task!!! The assistance extends to households as well.   One of my grandma’s had an atrocious cough.  Finally action had to be taken to combat the nuisance.  So upon arriving at one of my other grandma’s houses, they ordered the servant to go and purchase the appropriate medicine.  And bam like magic in 20 minutes with only a few words the cough drops were at her disposal.  I wish my desires could be granted with a snap of a finger.

Unfortunately, however, there were occasions that my disability was achingly apparent and debilitating.  Amid entering one of my relative’s home, as soon as I strode in, the judgemental stares blossomed and she dashed over to hold my hand to guide me.  When I was bending over to sit she placed her hand on my back and grasped my shoulder to aide.  I reciprocated by standing up smoothly once she had released her grip, demonstrating my independence.  Shortly after she suggested I be seated.  Noticing most of the others were on their feet, I declined.  The determination to alter her perception coursed through me.  Later on, when asked about school, I emphasised that I had finished college classes in 11th grade and in the upcoming year (12th) the entirety of my courses were college, keen to discreetly enlighten her that my intellectual capabilities were not impacted (so I hope and to my knowledges aren’t).  This interaction was certainly not my most prideful.  The desire to not be deemed as inadequate or lesser encouraged me to deviate from my typical personality, while simultaneously my heart seemed to physically crack.  The frustration that I was abnormal, regardless of my longing and effort to sustain a normal life…it could never manifest, and the fact that there would always be people that construe me as inferior gaped at me, yielding me on the verge of tears.

On the morning of the Mehendi (henna-which was the first day of function) as hot water ran down my back while I shampooed, I began to feel a little sus-detached from my surroundings.  A suspicion of what could be the issue dawned on me, but I continued nonchalantly, driven to attend the event.  During the process of wearing my lehenga on, it intensified and the addition of my ears ringing further confirmed my inkling.  During the time of slipping on accessories, the feeling of fainting came into play.  The weakness was overpowering.  Engaging in conversation and remaining in the present moment surged in difficulty.  Neglecting the reality was impossible.  “I need to sit down,” I breathed and scampered to the couch.  My mother and everyone else questioned what was wrong.  “Seizure,” I heaved out and collapsed on the sofa.  Waves of coolness and heat overtook me.  I swallowed rapidly despite having limited saliva.  Voices were distant; it was like I was in another realm.   The ringing was an unwanted, unended alarm clock.  My mother fired basic questions at me like what was my name, where I was…etc.  My eyes were watering, the familiarity of guilt pulsating to me.  I was ruining everything!  This event that has been so exquisitely planned, months of hard work was going to crumble and disintegrate because of me.  I drank as much pineapple juice as I could, implementing the effort to get it down.  I lay on my Nani’s lap (mother’s mother).  To be honest, it’s kind of a blur, but as the symptoms gradually eased, even though I wasn’t near 100%, I persistently pleaded to go to the Mandir (temple), underplaying the state I was in to rouse agreement.  I couldn’t bear to be the causation for more delay or cancellation.  Plus I really wanted to experience the function.

There were glaring challenges and exasperations.  They all threaded around in heels and other fancy footwear.  I was stuck wearing my daily basis blue sandals that held no character.  They all fashioned contacts, coloured too.  I bore my everyday mismatching glasses.  They all danced, twirled.  I clumsily swayed to the rhythm.  They all cleanly served themselves and carried their plate effortlessly,  I sloppily filled my plate and unsteadily clasped it, willing to not cause a food hurricane.  All these things that didn’t even cross their mind created a whole ordeal for me!

Overall it was a truly superb, memorable 2 days, colourful literally and figuratively, filled with puja, singing, dancing, and food!  I felt like a celebrity getting my hair and makeup done professionally, with everyone greeting me, with spotting the photographer out of the corner of my eye, with clicking 74538 pictures.  I thought I’d never manage socialising with so many people and that too a lot I didn’t know.  Not only did I manage, but I also genuinely had a blast!!!

Remember not to permit anyone’s misguided perception of you affect you too much.  They don’t know the whole story, what you’ve been through.  You don’t necessarily need to change their opinion or feel embarrassed as long as you are aware of your worth and the truth.  Please like, comment and follow.  In my following post I’ll recount the last part of my holiday.  

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