I Can’t Get What I Want But Am Still Trying

Sometimes you so desperately yearn for a certain outcome (tangible or not).  But you take a realistic, sensible approach- aware that the probability of the occurrence is extremely miniscule.  Having to face the reality that it likely will not arise is daunting and harrowing.  However, attempting is essential, preventing rumination and regret.  It is much more satisfying living with the knowledge you did all that you could, rather than constantly pondering the matter.

Contact lenses are an item that I have longed for for as painfully long as my memory extends back.  Unfortunately due to my eye conditions, we were under the impression that it was not plausible.  Although, at my annual eye check up, my doctor suggested delving into them.  A flutter surged through, a small trace of hope birthed.  Nonetheless, I proceeded with caution, balancing reason, noting that the desired results were close to zero.

The clinic was 35 minutes away.  In spite of my eye report conducted 2 weeks ago, a fresh examination took place, the dreaded dilation followed.  Thus, we were situated back in the lobby to sit restlessly for an hour.  And later my vision would be blurred, inhibiting productivity for the rest of the day.

The doctor greeted us and alternated between various lenses, questioning which I preferred.  It was a timely process, and the paranoia that I selected the wrong one nagged at me.  He then explained that he would issue quarterly lenses.  As a result of my contraindications, he predicted that it would take a couple of attempts in order to generate one that is sufficient and a couple weeks to develop each.  Furthermore, there is unwavering uncertainty lurking within me of my capabilities to put the lenses on.  My eyes are so sensitive and untrusting. Applying mascara fails!!

  However, I know I have to give it a shot.  Don’t be afraid of failure!  It’s better to know that you did everything in your power.

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