Putting Yourself First: Learning to Say No

Hii guys!!  Over the course of the past few days, a theme was introduced into my life.  Okay that’s a bit dramatic, but I learned something.  Yes, you should care and support your friends.  But at the end of the day, you are your own priority.  You come before them.

My friend requested my presence at her choir banquet (who doesn’t go to my school) a week in advance.  Due to the absence of prior plans, I concurred.  She was so relieved another friend (who attends my school) and I were going.  However, there was the lingering uncertainty of when our Senior Sunset was taking place.  The school failed to disclose that in a timely manner.  And my friend and I heavily yearned to go.

 Two days following our commitment to the banquet it surfaced that Senior Sunset was occurring on the same day at the same time.  Damn it!  My friend who is at the same school reassured the other that the banquet held more jocularity.  Arriving late to the texts, not seeking confrontation, I replied with “okay!” but my mind was still perplexed, contemplating the two options.  

Due to not attending the school that was hosting the banquet, it was evident that I would not be familiar with any of the people there.  I had no connection to it, besides celebrating my friend.  Had Senior Sunset not been happening simultaneously, proceeding shaking off some nerves, I would have braced myself and enjoyed the social event.  But the persistent nagging that I was going to miss out, ponder years down the line grew in prevalence.  I would know every single person there.  Plus, understanding that she had invited us, serving as a burden, an obligation to integrate us with her choir friends, gnawed at me.  But I had already given her my word; I did not want to disappoint.  I was torn.

This morning my assistant principal sent out a mass email, reminding us of the sunset, encouraging the participation of everyone.  For some reason this perpetuated the vacillations to swarm.  It sank in, culminating awareness that in my heart I favoured the sunset.  After respectable deliberation, I ruled that the sunset it was.  I informed the friend that goes to my school and she echoed my views.  Together we apologetically approached my other friend, articulating in complete honesty and entirety our decision.

Through doing this, I feel much more fulfilled, pleased that I will never ruminate “What if I had gone?”  Sometimes you really have to put yourself and your happiness first or else it will torment you in the long run.  The fear of hurting a friend inhibits the ability to do so.  But if they are true, they will come around and want your best interest.

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